PH Audio Blog

Hang on (please)

We’re a patient bunch, us Brits. Along with fax machines, umbrellas and radar, we invented queuing.

We queue at Alton Towers. Queue at the post office. Queue for pints. Queue for burgers after too many pints. We’d queue for sleeping if somebody said it was the right and proper thing to do.

Waiting politely is a nationwide sport. To the rest of the world, we’re a country of hooligans, stag-doers, beer-drinkers and queue-ers. To rest of the world, we’re either battering each other, voicing baddies in Bond films, or standing quietly in a line.

But, according to new research by TalkTalk, there’s a problem with that stereotype.

As a country, we’re fast losing patience.

Patience: the last virtue

TalkTalk’s study – which aimed to look at how people’s expectations have changed since the growth of high-speed internet – found that it takes an average of just 8 minutes and 22 seconds to snap while we’re waiting.

That’s 502 seconds before we cross what they’re calling ‘the point of impatience’. On crossing this point, we apparently go bonkers, melt, flip out, or worse. Then, we start cancelling services, slam the phone down, shout at managers, stomp about and lob things at the wall.

And that’s just on average.

Apparently, all of these terrible things happen after 3 minutes 38 seconds waiting for a website that’s taking its time; 5 minutes and 6 seconds if the kettle hasn’t got its act together; and 10 minutes and 1 second waiting for mates to arrive.

If you’re waiting on the phone, complete thermo-nuclear meltdown takes as little as 5 minutes and 4 seconds.

So what can be done?

Well, there are ways to mediate any of these problems. That’s the ingenuity of marketing. So in the cinema, you’ll find quizzes up on the big screen before a film. They’re easy, sure, but they’re also a good way to show up relatives if you’re feeling like a smart-alec.

In the Doctor’s surgery, there’ll be a telly on the wall with tips for healthy living, reminders, and more.

At the dentist’s, there’s been a magazine with your name on it since time began.

And for telephones, there’s On-Hold Marketing.

The problem with leaving callers on hold and out of sorts

Part of the problem with waiting on hold is the music – or the lack of. Many companies use silence, or beeps, or lift music (which doesn’t count). For some, these noises can be mildly irritating. To a few, it’s an excuse to hang up and never bother again. You only need to take a quick scan for “on hold” using Twitter’s real-time search to see how waiting on hold throws up plenty of aggro.

But what’s the alternative? How can a company minimise the psychological effects of waiting on hold?

Professional On-Hold Marketing

On-Hold Marketing combines CD-quality music on hold with professionally written prompts, delivered by professional voiceover artists. It’s different to music on hold because it’s targeted – it’s bespoke to the company using it, and its uses range from informing customers about new deals which might benefit them, to entertaining them with light-hearted humour.

So, on-hold messaging can even provide a bit of comfort – a way to let your callers know you’re on your way, and that you’re sorry they’re having to wait.

That might sound a small mercy, but if you consider that more than 70% of callers are put on hold every day – and that of these, plenty will hang up if put through to silence – it’s innovative services like this that can sometimes mean the difference between an enquiry and a really bad mood.